Thursday, June 21, 2012
communication and & Mutual Problem Solving
What we do things that we are doing in the church that could possibly influnece us and why do we do that?
-Set time /Place
* Thursdays/SLC Temple (Holy/Dedicated)
-Speak Love and Gratitude to each other
- I would always have time toshow gratitude and love to my spouse becasue I mean who doesn't like compliments or hearing something nice from someone? someone especially you are love wiht? Through taking care of each other and speak with love to one another strengthen the relationship.
-Prayer
-Agenda
-Discuss till consensus to Lords will
-Closing Prayer
-Refreshments
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
The Family Under Stress
This week in class, Brother williams shared his stories about death in the family and how it influenced his whole family. I am grateful for him to share his personal story even though it must be hard for him. Before his story, we talked about Actual Events, Behavioral response, Cognitions and Experience. He shared his story and we get to respond and observe those principles "ABCE".
Brother williams mentioned that year after the child passed away the divorce rate increases becasue they were blamming on each other.
Before any death happend in his family, there were fightings in the house between siblings and not much of gathering in family. However, after his brother passed away, they were trying to stay positive, gather around and pray about it and talked about it, there were no fightings, treat each other tenderly.
Very important lesson that I learned from his stories and experience, I thought having a good attitude is very important especially when there's death in the family. His brother's death was cause from medicine that his mom gave him, in this case we all know that she will feel guilty about it and feels like it's all her fault but instead of blamming on her, Brother William's dad comforted her, and everyone was comforting her. The best phrase that I heard from Brother Williams when he asked "What will you say to your spouse to comfort him/her?" and then he said " Neither of us knew" That really was a good comfort and have someone comforting helps improve family relationship and go through struggles.
I learned that as a family member, we can have positive attitude and comfort each other will strengthen the family relation.
Brother williams mentioned that year after the child passed away the divorce rate increases becasue they were blamming on each other.
Before any death happend in his family, there were fightings in the house between siblings and not much of gathering in family. However, after his brother passed away, they were trying to stay positive, gather around and pray about it and talked about it, there were no fightings, treat each other tenderly.
Very important lesson that I learned from his stories and experience, I thought having a good attitude is very important especially when there's death in the family. His brother's death was cause from medicine that his mom gave him, in this case we all know that she will feel guilty about it and feels like it's all her fault but instead of blamming on her, Brother William's dad comforted her, and everyone was comforting her. The best phrase that I heard from Brother Williams when he asked "What will you say to your spouse to comfort him/her?" and then he said " Neither of us knew" That really was a good comfort and have someone comforting helps improve family relationship and go through struggles.
I learned that as a family member, we can have positive attitude and comfort each other will strengthen the family relation.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Sexual Intimacy and Family Life
This week in the class, one of the question was "How well do we know that person(Partner)well?"
When I heard that question, I was thinking about a story of one couple. They have been dating for 3 years and finally got married. When they were dating, they thought they knew everything about each other, however, things were very different after they got married. It was only a month have passed and the husband became different person, he got abusive for no reason. The girl haven't experienced anything abusive in past 3years of dating.
In order to know that person, this few things are neccessary to have, Talk,Time, and Togatherness.
I heard that 3month is good amount of time to know the person.
In class we also talked about "relationship attachment model" it has few things that we can balance,
KNOW > Trust > Rely > Commit > Touch. In these steps, starts with one thing and fall to the next will have more chance to have good and better relationship between two couples.
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Transitions in Marriage
One of the question that we dicussed in the class was "Why does the proposal matter?"
This question reminded me of so many impressive proposal that I saw in the Youtube video.
In the Youtube videos so many men gave very unique proposal to the women. So why does the proposal matter?
I think every women wants to have impressive proposal, it doens't neccessary have to be with how much money was put in it but good enough to give special moment for the women. By getting a good proposal it can strengthen the relation between the couples. The moment of proposal could be one of women's best moment in her life. since it could be the their first big moment throughout the life before getting married women wants to receive a impressive proposal. One of the opposition could be that if the proposal is huge then it can higher women's expectation. Anyways, Getting married is one of the big important moment in every person's life. That's why proposal can impact and important to women and men.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Gender and Family Life
This week, we talked about people who considered themselves a gay.
It was very interesting topic for me because I often struggled with how to respond to them. And how I can react to those situation.
The best respond to any statement that are related to the people who considered themselves as a gay were..
1. Instead of forcing them it's wrong and criticize, but try to listen to their stories, any experience that they had in the past. ( They might be molested, or they could be treated diffrerently or seperated because they weren't behaving same as their same gender)
2. If someone come up to you and saying " Hey he turned out to be a gay, I noticed he was different from other kids" then we should correct them saying " You are mislabelling them"
In my high school years, there were few friends who considered themselves as a gay. And at that time I would be surprised in my mind but outside I would pretend that it's not a big deal and just skip it. I should've talk to them about it instead of just admit the fact and ignore it. I also realize that many people struggle with it.
Through today's discussion,I realize that many people struggle with it.I obtained more knowledge about perspectives and mind of people who considered themseves a gay. Also, I have more thoughts of how to respond to its situation.
It was very interesting topic for me because I often struggled with how to respond to them. And how I can react to those situation.
The best respond to any statement that are related to the people who considered themselves as a gay were..
1. Instead of forcing them it's wrong and criticize, but try to listen to their stories, any experience that they had in the past. ( They might be molested, or they could be treated diffrerently or seperated because they weren't behaving same as their same gender)
2. If someone come up to you and saying " Hey he turned out to be a gay, I noticed he was different from other kids" then we should correct them saying " You are mislabelling them"
In my high school years, there were few friends who considered themselves as a gay. And at that time I would be surprised in my mind but outside I would pretend that it's not a big deal and just skip it. I should've talk to them about it instead of just admit the fact and ignore it. I also realize that many people struggle with it.
Through today's discussion,I realize that many people struggle with it.I obtained more knowledge about perspectives and mind of people who considered themseves a gay. Also, I have more thoughts of how to respond to its situation.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Social class & Cultural diversity
This week's discussion in the class was Social Class & Cultural Diversity
Social Class
I watched Tammy's Story. In this video, a young boy name Tammy lives in urban area in a container box with his mom and his siblings. He thinks he is in a upper class than his family even though he lives with them. By watching his behavior and what he consider himself belongs to a upper class, the thought came into my mind that how does the Social class works. Does it base on the properties that they owned, money, or education and such. How I identify individuals Social Class is varity, properties,rich, good manner, usaged of words, and their look.
Cultrual Diversity
Brother Williams demonstrated extend family in the class. How their relation will change and it affects the family. While a father lives in forign country for his job, rest of his family stays. This situation reminded me of my family. It was surprising how each student who took father, mother, children's role in Brother Williams demonstration are able to understand the situation that they were in. It was very unique how Brother Williams asked them a question about what they would feel in each situation and I could able to hear and observe the changes and struggles between the family.
In conclusion, from brother Williams demonstration plus my own personal experience, I think family relation can be change in a good and a bad way. It depends on how well we communicate and understand each other. Even though my dad lived in Korea and my mom and my sisters lived in America, my dad would always contact us. Every morning, afternoon, and night, we never felt that we are seperated for long time. My dad was definitly lonely, but our family tried to stay together through a small call each day or a video chat. I think this whole hard experience of live far apart from my dad gave me an apportunities to care and love him more. And I could realize how much love we have in our family. I really appriciate this experience, it can be a long suffering in some point but this is one of my testimony of long trials. This long trials finally ended and gave me a everlasting blessings and experience in my life.
Social Class
I watched Tammy's Story. In this video, a young boy name Tammy lives in urban area in a container box with his mom and his siblings. He thinks he is in a upper class than his family even though he lives with them. By watching his behavior and what he consider himself belongs to a upper class, the thought came into my mind that how does the Social class works. Does it base on the properties that they owned, money, or education and such. How I identify individuals Social Class is varity, properties,rich, good manner, usaged of words, and their look.
Cultrual Diversity
Brother Williams demonstrated extend family in the class. How their relation will change and it affects the family. While a father lives in forign country for his job, rest of his family stays. This situation reminded me of my family. It was surprising how each student who took father, mother, children's role in Brother Williams demonstration are able to understand the situation that they were in. It was very unique how Brother Williams asked them a question about what they would feel in each situation and I could able to hear and observe the changes and struggles between the family.
In conclusion, from brother Williams demonstration plus my own personal experience, I think family relation can be change in a good and a bad way. It depends on how well we communicate and understand each other. Even though my dad lived in Korea and my mom and my sisters lived in America, my dad would always contact us. Every morning, afternoon, and night, we never felt that we are seperated for long time. My dad was definitly lonely, but our family tried to stay together through a small call each day or a video chat. I think this whole hard experience of live far apart from my dad gave me an apportunities to care and love him more. And I could realize how much love we have in our family. I really appriciate this experience, it can be a long suffering in some point but this is one of my testimony of long trials. This long trials finally ended and gave me a everlasting blessings and experience in my life.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Today in class, we talked about Theories
-systems
-Exchange
-symbolic Interaction
-conflict theory
In System Theory, there are Rules and Roles
These are the rules that I would like to have for my future family
1. No texting at the dinner table
2. Keep your room clean
3. Have family scripture study and prayer every night
4. Have family time on Saturday
5.Work as a family on yard/house
6.LOVE ONE ANOTHER
7.Go to church every Sunday
8.Clean up after yourself
9.Practice your talents
10.Always smile :)
Roles
Become a good mother and friend with the children
Become a supportive partner and friend with my husband
I'm pretty sure it will change as I continue my future, but those are the basic ones that I am going to remember.
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